Tuesday, August 26, 2014


wellllllllllll because i have SO many followers (this is a literal JOKE)
i have absolutely no qualms telling the 3 of you about my day.

if i had to choose my top 3 worst days ever
today would be in the running.

well i mean, it started off great. i read some, then had lunch/watched divergent with David. but then i had to leave because soccer and oh my liiiiiterally. (#whitegirlmoment) i had to go to the trainor to get my hip wrapped because i hurt my hip-flexer so i was late to practice by 10 minutes. looooooooooong horrible and excruciating story later i was supposed to run 10 laps. at the end of practice. because of my tardiness. WHAT. i was liiiivid. i could have screamed at my coach. screamed. and i almost did. i have no idea how i remotely kept my cool at all. THANK YOU HOLY SPIRIT. anyway i had that shortened to 5 laps. 

aside from the big soccer fiasco that i didn't even describe
in detail, i had to stop at redbox on the way home from practice to return a movie
but the redbox was broken

then when i got home my mom said that she wanted to see a movie
so we saw "If I Stay" and it was the worst
as if my day wasn't bad enough
saddest movie ever

and to top it all off, when i got my hip wrapped, it gave me a rash, so there's that.
and i have the BIGGEST blister ever on my foot that i got from those laps
so there's that, too. 

but what i forgot to mention was the small little reminder that God so lovingly sent my way
i got a text after soccer from my friend Sharon
Sharon has faithfully sent me a Bible verse
for 3 years

so i'll end with that verse
Ephesians 4:2
"Always be humble and gentle.
Be patient with one another,
making allowances for each other's faults
because of your love."
and today, i needed to hear that.

Thursday, August 21, 2014

a note from a father

My darling, My daughter…

How are you, My beautiful child? I have missed you, I’ve been wondering where you have been. I feel as though I have spent so long watching you, being there for you, just waiting for you to notice Me.

You often feel that in a crowded room; you’re alone.. Don’t you notice me at the back of the room, as you dance about in your world? I’m watching you from a distance, from where you left Me when you pushed Me to the side, hid My word in your backpack,  closed the pages of your journal when someone asked what you were writing; for fear of what others might think of Me, your Father.

I’m still here, sometimes I see you looking for Me, at the end of the day - when everyone else has gone home, and you’re laying in your bed, staring out the window. When you go into the bathroom, wipe off your make-up, and remember who you naturally are… I hear your heart looking for Me. I’m there My beautiful girl; when you stare at your reflection, and you cringe at the way your nose turns slightly out at the bottom, or the way your freckles aline perfectly across your cheeks. When you purse your lips at the colour of your skin, the shape of your hairline, and the way your lips don’t always rest perfectly together. You never seem to like what you see, and I try to reach out to you, and explain why I painted your face that way, why I intricately sketched your lips to fall together the way they do - but you’re too busy for me, it seems you always are these days… Splashing inks of red, creams, browns and blacks across your face; hiding the masterpiece that I created you to be; sometimes I worry you have forgotten who you truly are, My child.

I see you each week, stepping through your routines, meeting your friends, and making time to talk. I know you probably wish I wasn’t My dear, but I find Myself falling jealous to the time you have for everyone but Me. I wonder; do you remember last Sunday, when you promised we would have coffee together, when you said you were sorry for all the times you left me waiting, sitting and hoping you would arrive; I waited with my arms filled to overflowing. I prepared gifts for you each time you said we would meet… I wrapped grace in a parcel, perfectly and sweetly; for all the times you did Me wrong. I folded compassion and love into a neat bundle, with a ribbon of acceptance around it, gently tied with care and concern for you - for all the times you felt unwanted, unloved and alone, the times you felt no one cared… I waited for you, but you did not come; lately dear, you rarely come… 

I fell to My knees for you today, I begged for your company in some kind of way.
I fell to My knees and I called out your name, hoping maybe, you’d do the same. 

But I waited again, I sat waiting for you; in a crowded room, where no body knew; that you had promised Me your time, for a short moment or two. I waited patiently for you, because you are worthy of My time, I consider you much more important than any other creation of Mine. It was then and there, I stood to my feet, and found you somewhere new… From across the room, I noticed you… You had forgotten about Me, My princess - but I hadn’t forgotten about you.

I’ve played hide and seek with you; I promised I would find you, and surely I did. When it came to your turn to come to Me, My dear, I waited for so long - only to find, you lost interest in our time together. I’ve played tag with you; I chased you, and chased you, and chased you again, I’ll never give up chasing you… Not until the very end. But when you chased Me back; that’s what gave Me great joy, to have you reach out your arms to Me; calling My name, telling Me you want Me, you need Me… It was beautiful, but short lived. - I wonder where you have gone My child; don’t you know I miss you?

I know you love encouragement, inspiration and conferences with great speakers; you love the hype of My word, and the gift of My life - but when it comes to the crunch, and you’re the star of the show - I long to be front row and centre, proudly cheering you on. But instead you buy me no ticket, and there I am; waiting for you again, at the back of a crowded room.

My daughter, do you remember when you told me you couldn’t go on? When tears stained your cheeks, and you found it hard to breathe - you sat weeping from a distance, but all of a sudden, you found support? That caring friends hand on your shoulder; the text message from your sister, the facebook message you received; it was not merely a coincidence, it was a small reminder of how lovingly I care for you.

I miss you My daughter, I miss the way you would take time for Me; and keep it
I miss the way you would proudly tell your friends about My faithfulness, and believe it.
I miss you desiring Me, wanting Me, and Hungering for Me; desperately and longingly, wanting more of Me. You have forgotten Me, My Child… 

My heart is breaking for you; please come back to Me?
I’ll be waiting where you left Me, at the back of the crowded room.

Lovingly and longingly, prayerfully and passionately signed;
Your Father, Your Lord, Your King, Your Best Friend, Your Comforter, Your Counsellor. 

Tuesday, August 5, 2014

instagram challenge.

I have decided for the next thirty days to only post things on instagram about Jesus, Bible verses/encouragement, etc. I'm calling it #30dayswithjesus

If you want to keep an eye out for my posts feel free to visit

Sunday, August 3, 2014

i choose jesus.

"In one moment
Everything changed.
Who I was got washed away,
When mercy found me.
The savior's arms are open wide
And I've found love
For the very first time. 
When mercy found me."

Friday, August 1, 2014

colleeegggeee. merpp.

scary, scary, scaryyy.
I have been dreading this moment for like a year.
buuttt, surprisingly enough
it wasn't that bad.
shocker right?
i know.
I applied to two schools for early admission
Kentucky Christian University (yayyy!!) and Grove City College.
GCC is my 'reach' school. I don't really expect to be accepted but it would be really nice.
Kentucky is my top choice. I reeeeally wanna go there. ugh. I can't believe this is happening!
Senior year is here! I got senior picture information in the mail today.
it's toooo weird. although
i am excited (kinda a little) for school to start
so many new beginnings.
life has been really crazy lately
one bad decision after another.
but i'm learning?
and growing?
and changing?
cool. woo.