Friday, March 24, 2017

women's lit - 3/24/17

"i imagine the collection of relationships that I've had in my life as a big giant house that I've purchased. each person is a room in my house; they all have their own decorations and senses of humor and tastes and smells and stories and signs and symbols. everything in each room is a little different from the next. but as I walked through my house from one room to another, all of these things became part of me. I had to learn that you can't find yourself in other people. you can't fall ridiculously in love and have there only be two types of people in the world - them and everyone else. you've got to love yourself. you've got to find yourself within yourself."

Wednesday, March 8, 2017


today is international womens' day.

i recently saw a post on facebook about how we shouldn't be celebrating our genders because we should be celebrating how jesus Christ defines us, not our gender.

i love jesus. he has done so much for me and my family. he died on the cross for my sins and redeemed and also set me free from the bondage of this world.
but i do not see how in any way celebrating my gender and celebrating other women and their accomplishments takes away from god's role in my life.

god made me a woman! why would i not want to celebrate the life that he gave to me and other women?
my gender is NOT the only thing that defines me. nor is my sexuality, socioeconomic status, level of education, race, etc. to subject myself to being completely defined by any one of these categories would be lessening myself as a human. YES, they all play a role in who i am and how I've been raised, but they are not the end all be all.

define yourself however you want to define yourself and don't let anyone tell you who you are or aren't.

Monday, March 6, 2017

dear papere,

hey poppo!
saw some pictures of us in the last few days and MAN am i missing you.
there are so many new things going on in life right now that i wish you were here to share with me because i think that you'd be really proud. sometimes stuff happens, and i wish i could call you and ask for help or you could tell me what to do. remember that one time i wanted to quit soccer my senior year? "you've got marsden in you, ab, and marsdens aren't quitters. hard times build character."

okay just some updates i think you need to know:
i LOVE temple!! i am learning so so much about literature and education. all of my professors are pretty smart and i like sitting in class learning from them so much.
my job is going well, i think. i'm not sure what my summer plans are yet. i have an opportunity to go away or stay home and it's all kind of up in the air right now.
josh & kristen & lenna & caleb all live at home with me & mom & dad! i have loved having them so close. caleb is so smart and funny and strong willed, like all the best of us in the family are. lenna is smiling so much and is just a great little friend. if only you could see her cheeks you'd have allll the heart eyes.
selah is getting so big and beautiful. she LOVES sarah more than anyone, but who doesn't??? between her big eyes and smile she's gonna be a KILLER.
mom & dad are good, hanging in. i don't get to hang with them as much as i'd like because i'm so busy.
after last summer, robbie and i actually got pretty close, and uncle dean and aunt terry, too. i talk to them like once a weekish and i go over for dinner when i have free time. i really love our family so much.
BUT the thing i am most excited to tell you is that i started playing rugby for temple!!!!!!!!! catch me a temple athlete just like you!!! poppo, rugby is literally THE most fun sport i have ever played. we had our first tournament on saturday and played 4 games. we won 3 and tied 1. mom and lauren came to support me and it was freezing but they came anyways and it was so nice. the game itself is such a rush of adrenaline. my team put me on the back like cause i'm fast, i think i got that from you. i really wish that you could see me play more than anything but i know you're watching me all the time.
i've made so many friends on my team - we've become like a family so fast. i love being a part of this community.
as the days pass, i get more and more excited to be a teacher. but i also love college and i'm trying to make the most of my time here at temple.
i love you so much and i miss you like crazy. i hope i'm making you proud. doing my best to work hard and be careful.
see you soon, xoxo

Wednesday, December 28, 2016

Saturday, December 3, 2016

be ashes.

Ever since I was 15 years old, I have been trying to teach myself that I don't need a hero. 
I don't need someone to swoop in and save me. 
I need to save myself. 
I am literally never going to be happy until I can fully, confidently, 100% say that I am the only person I need. 
I have been trying to learn this for four years.
But today I realized that it's just not true. 
Humans were made to need other humans. We're not meant to be alone and stay that way.
It's not wrong to need help. It's not wrong to fall apart and crumble. It's not wrong to burn to ashes. 
It's wrong to stay that way. 
So ask for help. Fall apart. Crumble to the ground. Burn down. 
But rise again. Be a Phoenix. Find new life. Rebuild. And be stronger than ever. 

Life is hard, and ya can't do it alone.