doubting thomas

Many of you know my plans for the future:

Go to California in the fall

Transfer to the campus in Vajta, Hungary after a semester or so

Become a missionary to Muslim people

Recently I have been doubting these plans so much,

And it hasn't been for any real reason. 

I mean, I've been getting really really sad when I think about how I am not going to college to be an English teacher / writer / editor. 

Me and my selfishness have been like "Am I going to hate serving other people for the rest of my life? Probably." 

How stupid is that?! Especially since I'm headed right into God's will. 

But ANYWAY, the women's seminar yesterday and today completely blessed me. 

All of the speakers 100% reassured me that I am going to love where I am headed in this next season. 

I have been praying and praying that I wouldn't lose my fire and that my heart for Muslim people wouldn't die out. Today, when Heather Mercer put up the pictures of the women in chains because of ISIS, I was longing to help set them free. And those aren't the only women in danger! Many women are sold into slavery and sex trafficking. If you've kept up with my blog so far, you know I participated in Dressember, and I wore a dress everyday for a month to raise awareness for sex trafficking. 

All of this to say...

The Lord is faithful. 

Like honestly so faithful. In all of my humanness and daily failings, he never lets me down!

He knows every doubt and worry that my heart has ever seen and ever will see. 

I have never been more loved than by my Heavenly Father. 

What a wonderful feeling it is to be cherished by the one who holds my life and has numbered my days. 

I am honored to know Jesus. I am honored that he knows my name and has written my story. I am honored to do his will. 

Thy word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my path. 

Psalm 119

{1,500+ women, hands raised, praising the most high God}