two roads diverged . . .

two roads diverged in a wood

and oh so sorry I could not travel both

they told me I must make my decision. 

in or out.

for or against.

death or life.

two roads diverged in a wood

and I am choosing the one you would not expect. 

I have learned to kiss the waves that slam me into the rock of ages.

inconsistent.

Work

Work

Work

Class

Work 

Class

Work...again

And somehow making time for homework & friends & family time?

Currently feeling convicted about LIFE. Whhhhhyyyy is it so hard to follow Jesus & follow him wholeheartedly? I was raised in the church! You would think that makes it easier! #wrong 

The literal struggle is tooooo real.

//// if you think about it, pray for me: that I might stay grounded & not become complacent. //// 

On a different note: as I sat in prayer on Sunday I thought about why I can't do this, and why I can't do that. What makes it so wrong? It would be so much easier if I just didn't believe anything and just lived my life. I keep finding myself waiting for something. Waiting for that big turnaround moment. For the day that my commitment to Christ sticks. Waiting for something (someone) to swoop in and change my life forever.  Well about halfway through prayer my answer came. It was in the form of a pregnant, 17 year old girl, walking through the front doors looking for guidance and love. I could only offer the latter & simply point her to Jesus. We cried together & prayed together. I don't think she knows just how loved she really is. Not only by me, but by the one who holds her life. 

We can never really expect the unexpected. This news came flying out from left field and I didn't know how to react. But the nice part about this is that I don't have to react. A friend of mine told me that it's not my job to fix this situation. I can't fix it, if I could I would have already done so. All I have to do is trust in The Lord and his sovereign plan & be an arrow, pointing only to Jesus. And I think that's what we are called to be. Arrows that point people to Jesus. Because after all, what are we without him? 

Nothing. 

Prayer requests: 

1. /see aforementioned request/

2. For this girl, who shall remain nameless, that she might find Jesus in this. 

3. Wisdom in this situation for her and her parents. 

4. That her boyfriend comes to find a relationship with Christ. 

{a broken heart}

I went up to Coatesville yesterday, to visit the older kids at overnight camp.

It breaks my heart to see these kids

so unhappy, yet so full of joy & life 

so confused as to where life is going to take them, yet not have a care in the world.  

{Dynasti and Cardye circa 2012}

The kids I have come to love so dearly are growing up. 

Many of the kids there I had in my cabin/for day camp when they were still going to the younger week.  

I will be counseling the younger kids next week & I couldn't be more excited. 

I can't wait to see what The Lord has in store for us and what he will do next week. 

Please be praying for me, and the other volunteers when you think about it. 

Pray for wisdom, energy, and lots of love for these kids. 

Most of them come from single-parent homes, from the innercity of Coatesville. 

            

                                                                  {NayNay}

 {Donna, Hannah, and Josh during evening chapel}

              

                                                        ///////// Me and Dynasti ///////// 

                                                          My oh my, how she's grown. 

 Ugh. My baby, Messiah. I love her so much. 

      

                                            {Taty, Vetta, Hoggi, Schylo, and NayNay}

it's been a while. . .

hello, old friend. 

It's been quite a while, hasn't it?

So much has changed. So much has happened. 

Good. Bad. And everything in between. 

School has ended. I've started a new job. Next week, I go up to coatesville. The week after that, I start a class at BCCC. 

It's all very busy. 

I'm still living in my shell. 

And I'm still struggling to fill it with something. 

But here I am anyway, moving along. 

Because what else am I supposed to do?

I have promises to keep, and people to not let down. 

Someday, maybe I'll even make someone proud. 

{so we beat on, boats against the current, borne back ceaselessly into the past.}

- f. scott fitzgerald

moving forward. {or trying to, anyway}

looking forward. 

looking ahead. 

what's to come? what does the future hold?

questions, questions, questions. 

where am i going? what am i going to do?

well, i don't know. i don't know at all. 

and to be honest, that scares me to no end. i like to have a plan and know exactly what is coming next. 

and i struggle and wrestle with the fact that i can't control anything anymore. 

with all that's happened, i've become a shell of a human. 

a lowly shell, with nothing living inside. 

in a nutshell.